Venus in Pisces

What we love, and how we love, is Venus’s business. Pisces is a mutable Water sign, ruled by Jupiter in traditional astrology and by Neptune for the moderns. Water brings sensitivity, the mutable modality flexibility, and here Venus finds a terrain where its boundaries dissolve. Loving, here, is almost merging with the other person. The line between their own well-being and that of the loved one becomes blurred, and they may give up what they wanted so the other person can be happy, without making a fuss or asking for recognition. Jupiter, its traditional ruler, adds generosity and faith in the other person to this Venus; Neptune, for the moderns, a taste for dreams and merging, sometimes for illusion.

They love an image as much as a person, at least at first. An ordinary encounter can take on the look of destiny in their eyes. They perceive in the other person what that person could become, and it is often this that attracts them. Their compassion overflows the couple: fragile beings, animals, people who are suffering move them without any personal bond being needed. Art takes up a large place in their emotional life, whether they create it or receive it: a song can take them back years, a movie can leave them moved for the whole evening.

An exalted Venus

Traditional astrology assigns each planet a sign of exaltation, where it is especially enhanced. For Venus, it is Pisces; the opposite sign, Virgo, is its fall. Taurus gives it stable pleasure, Libra a thoughtful balance. Pisces gives it something else: a love without barriers, which asks for nothing equivalent in return. Exalted doesn’t mean easy. The quality that expresses itself most freely here, self-giving, is also the one that requires the most vigilance, because it doesn’t always know on its own where to stop. The condition of Jupiter and Neptune in the chart, as well as Venus’s aspects, help show whether this giving stays joyful or turns into sacrifice.

They love without calculation. Many attachments weigh what you receive against what you give. Theirs keeps no accounts, and many people feel loved with them as they had never been before. They remember what they have given less than what they have been given, and say thank you for a long time for a gesture the other person had forgotten.

They forgive. They try to understand rather than hold a grudge, and rebuild bonds that others would have abandoned long ago. This ability, precious in a shared life, works best alongside clear-sightedness about what can be forgiven and what cannot.

They understand without needing explanations. A loved one who is struggling doesn’t need to go into detail: they sense it, come closer, know how to stay quiet at the right moment. Their presence comforts, often better than advice. They know how to welcome tears without judging them or trying to stop them, which not everyone can do.

They find beauty almost everywhere. A train ride, light on a wall, a sentence overheard by chance become moments charged with emotion. This way of seeing often feeds an artistic talent, practiced or not, and gives their emotional life a richness those close to them gladly share.

They idealize. They fall in love with an image more than with the real person, lend the other person qualities they don’t have, play down warning signs visible from a mile away. Their friends, more clear-sighted, often see the disappointment coming before they do. The fall is all the harder because the image was beautiful, and they then blame themselves for not looking sooner.

They lose themselves. By devoting themselves to the other person’s well-being, they no longer know what they expect from a bond, and very unbalanced relationships set in, where they give much more than they receive. They may even feel guilty asking for something for themselves, as if their own need were a bother.

Setting limits is difficult for them. They hope the situation will sort itself out rather than state a clear condition, and so let in behaviors that others would have refused from the start. People who play on their compassion find a door that opens too easily.

They stay too long. Turning a blind eye to a problem seems less painful to them than giving up the ideal they had built, and an unsatisfying relationship can last well beyond what is good for them. Leaving feels to them like betraying what they believed in.

Compassion and desire get mixed up. They can mistake pity for love, or the urge to rescue someone for attraction, and end up in ambiguous bonds, neither quite romantic nor quite friendly. Telling apart what they feel from what they would like to feel is a long learning process, often made through one or two painful relationships.